SEXY WALRUS
Walrus Triathlon XV
Saturday, 11 September 2027
Fixed by the calendar, not by us: the second Saturday in September, for the fifteenth time.
The almanac
Two years ahead.
Nothing cancelled.
Every date the club intends to keep, plus the old feasts it keeps without meaning to.
2027 · 2028 · AND THE NORSE YEAR, AS WE OBSERVE IT
First, the race
THE ONLY DATE THAT MATTERSWalrus Triathlon XVI
Saturday, 9 September 2028
Same rule, same weekend, same water. Sixteen years and the club has never once been early.
The second Saturday in September. Every year since 2013. The tide is informed, not consulted.
The club year
ELEVEN FIXTURES AND ONE ARGUMENT- 1 January, 09:00The New Year Swim
- A Tuesday in JanuaryThe Annual General Meeting
- Late JanuaryUp Helly Aa solidarity evening
- A Saturday in MarchThe Repair Workshop
- A Sunday in MayThe Kit Amnesty
- JuneThe Tide-Watching Weekend
- 21 JuneThe Longest Day Ride
- A Saturday in AugustThe Marshals' Drill
- The second Saturday in SeptemberThe Walrus Triathlon, and the handover
- A Sunday in DecemberThe Winter Handicap
- 31 December, after darkThe Reading of the Year
- The second Saturday in September, before the swimThe reading, and the club's own high feast
The rest of the club
KEPT HERE, OUT OF THE WAYThe race gets the tab because the race is what we do. Everything else the club has — its own history, its trophies, its photographs and its rules — lives here.
- The race, every editionFourteen Septembers, each with its own tab, the full grid of splits and ranks, and the record book.
- The WalriEvery member’s card: best finish, best time, and the honours the records put on them.
- The club’s taleHow it started, in three parts, with the diary as it was written.
- The cabinetThe Horn of Glory, the White Fang and the Golden Horn, year by year.
- The albumThe club’s own photographs, from the car park to the long table.
- The loreThe hymn, the bestiary and the rest of the club’s invented heritage.
- The rulebookAll forty-one, including the ones nobody has read twice.
The Norse year
OBSERVED · IN OUR OWN WAYThe old feasts, kept on their proper days by a club that has read about them once and is very confident.
Four of these involve getting into cold water. Two involve preserved food and are best attempted sitting down. One belongs to the elves, who have not invited us and will not.
Where a date is genuinely unfixed in the old sources - as with Álfablót - the club says so rather than inventing one. The club has enough invented dates already.
- Friday between 19 and 25 JanuaryÞorrablót
- Same dayBóndadagur, the husband's day
- 19 FebruaryKonudagur, the wife's day
- First Thursday after 18 AprilSumardagurinn fyrsti, the first day of summer
- The same daySigrblót
- 24 JuneJónsmessa, midsummer
- Saturday between 21 and 27 OctoberVeturnætur, the winter nights
- Date deliberately unrecordedÁlfablót, the elves' sacrifice
- Around 21 DecemberJólablót, midwinter
- Last Tuesday of JanuaryUp Helly Aa
- Late May bank holidayThe Cooper's Hill cheese rolling
Club dates are the club's; the Norse observances are the genuine articles, described as this club keeps them. The almanac is edited whenever the club changes its mind, which is most Januaries.
Every edition of the raceThe cabinet